5 Ways to Keep Intimacy Alive When You're Expecting
Let’s start by making something very important clear. It’s completely normal to experience intimacy issues when you’re expecting a baby.
Many of the symptoms that come with pregnancy affect mood, energy levels, self-image, and sex drive. All of which directly impact how you are likely to engage with your partner. So, before you get down on yourself or give in to frustration, bear this in mind.
It’s perfectly fine to use your pregnancy time for rest rather than reliving your honeymoon!
However, keeping the intimacy alive will do much more than just rekindle the bedroom heat. It can also promote more relationship closeness, communication, and a feeling of mutual support.
Intimacy doesn’t always have to mean sexual intercourse, either. In fact, it’s mostly about creating a comfortable, loving environment for you and your partner to reconnect and indulge in some much-needed you-and-them time.
From stress relief to relationship-building, a little bit of intimacy will reestablish trust and enhance communication. Plus, it will help you both feel closer to one another during this exciting, special (and sometimes rather crazy-feeling) time. Here are five wonderful ways to make it happen.
1. Let your partner massage you
A sensual massage is one of the best ways to reconnect with your partner in an intimate setting. Chances are, both of you are missing the delicious feeling of skin-to-skin contact. A massage is the perfect way to fulfill that craving while giving momma’s aching muscles some much-needed love.
As you have precious cargo on board, it’s important to use high-quality, safe, and organic products. You can use vitamin E-enriched belly butter or belly oil to soothe muscles and reduce stretch marks while enjoying a relaxing rubdown from your partner.
Your shoulders, back, legs, glutes, belly, and feet all need relief when you’re pregnant. But if you feel like ramping things up, a breast and nipple massage can stimulate your sex drive and serve as a sensual foreplay session before you take things further.
2. Don’t take sex—or each other—for granted
When a lot of couples first start dating, there’s often this sense that sex is a given—as though it’s a normal (and sometimes even mutually expected) part of their daily or weekly routines. But when pregnancy comes into the picture, that idea can become somewhat fragmented.
It’s important to keep the intimacy alive by treating your partner as though they are still sexually desirable. Remember that intimacy is a realistic goal you both need to take seriously and work towards.
When you’re both in the mood, cherish the moment you’re sharing and take the opportunity to fully appreciate how this is deepening the bond in your relationship.
3. Have a bath together
This is a soothing, relaxing, and intimate exercise that just about every couple can enjoy. There are so many opportunities for romance. Rose petals, fragrant natural essential oils or scented body wash, candlelight, gentle music— pretty much anything that gets you both feeling relaxed and connected.
Baths are also a lovely way to alleviate stress, reduce nausea, and promote deeper sleep. Whether it results in lovemaking or not, sharing a bath with your loved one is a beautiful way to unwind together. If you’re heavily pregnant and you both won’t fit comfortably in the tub, let your partner sit on the edge with you and spend time sharing special moments.
4. Discuss your fantasies and fears openly
It will be much easier to keep the intimacy alive in your relationship if you are open about why it’s needed in the first place. Ironically, while many women feel categorically un-sexy in their pregnant state, most partners actually say they feel more attracted to them than ever.
But without proper communication, a lot of that can get lost in translation.
Some people are also wary of physical intimacy because they are afraid of hurting the baby or making their partner uncomfortable. These are natural concerns, but you won’t get to the root of them unless you discuss them openly with your partner.
If you have a fantasy or fear that’s holding you back, talk to your loved one about it. See what you can do together to ensure everyone feels safe, supported, and fulfilled.
5. Invest in maternity lingerie
Investing in quality maternity lingerie is one of the simplest yet most effective ways to regain your confidence as a pregnant woman. Your other lingerie might not fit you right now. But that’s okay, and there’s a whole world of other slips and lingerie styles you can wear to feel sexy and empowered.
Spoiling yourself with some luxurious lingerie that fits comfortably while still feeling sexy can help rebuild confidence and inspire desire in both you and your partner.
Why is intimacy a struggle during pregnancy?
Oh my goodness, where to start? Between the raging hormones, body changes, fluctuations of self-esteem, morning sickness, anxiety, extreme fatigue, and sometimes very important medical reasons, it’s no wonder that many pregnant couples find it difficult to make love as they used to.
During a time when couples need each other’s support more than ever, it’s not uncommon for them to feel cranky, distant, and insecure about their role or position in the relationship.
But that’s exactly what makes intimacy exercises like these so valuable. Making the time to sit down with each other and reconnect on an emotional and physical level can be the tonic you both need in order to feel restored in your partnership, ready to take on the challenge of becoming parents together.
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