Honoring Our Angels: Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day

The loss of a child is often undiscussed; a subject too painful to speak about with others. However, at least for one day a year, the world is invited to have an open conversation about the losses we’ve experienced.

October 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day -- and as we remember our lost angels, I’d like to share our family’s story with you.

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As a NICU nurse working in the San Francisco Bay Area, I was always floored by the beauty and frailty of life. While my profession made me encounter death every day, there was nothing that could’ve prepared me for the loss of my own child.

Two years after having our first baby boy, the hubs and I were over the moon about being pregnant again. Our business was just beginning to flourish, and our first child was happy, healthy, and wonderfully chubby. Now, our family was growing; what more could I have wanted?

But just weeks in, I suffered a devastating miscarriage, followed by a traumatic D&C. I felt emotionally and physically devastated. I cried, wrote letters to my unborn child, and tried to grasp the why’s and how’s. The hardest part was the questions I asked myself:

What did I do wrong? Is this MY fault?

I’d love to tell you there are tips to help make the pain go away faster -- but there are no shortcuts in grieving.  Now that time has passed, I know every tear shed was a step towards healing. For anyone experiencing something similar, I invite you to fully grieve...but have faith that everything happens for a reason. I know it may sound inconceivable or cliche, but you can find light in the darkness.

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 Three years later after my husband and I were ready, we proudly welcomed a healthy, 7.5 lbs, 20-inch baby girl into the world: Ellianna G. 💗 

 When I look at my family now, I count my blessings, and know my family is complete: a loving husband by my side, two wonderful children in each hand, and a little angel who lives in my heart.

Below are some things that have helped me along my journey and may help you too:

WAYS WE CAN HELP PROCESS & HEAL: 

🤍 Share your baby’s story on social media using the #BecauseOfYouMyChild hashtag. Tag @pregnancyafterlosssupport on Instagram, and we may feature your story.

🤍 Add the #BecauseOfYouMyChild frame to a favorite photo and post it as your Facebook profile image or on your social media feeds.
🤍 Share “Because of you, my child, I will forever have footprints on my heart,” which inspired this year’s Pregnancy, Infant, and Child Loss Awareness campaign.
🤍 Download PALS’ “footprints on my heart” graphics to share on social media, your blog, or website.
🤍 Participate in the International Wave of Light at 7 PM local time. Light a candle and keep it lit for one hour, as the wave of light passes throughout the world.
🤍 Make a donation to Pregnancy After Loss Support (PALS) in memory of your baby, and help keep PALS’ services and resources free for moms who are traveling the journey of pregnancy after loss.

If and when you're ready I'd love to hear your personal experiences and similar stories. Together we can help each other heal and remember.